Bikram Yoga: The Perfect Companion for Any Zen Seeking Control Freak

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balance, Bikram, Contentment, control freak, excercise, Happiness, health, healthy-living, meditation, Real Life, Reflections, yoga

My friend Jordan has often spoken about the wonderful benefits of Bikram yoga. After doing some research, I wasn’t sure I could handle it; the idea of practicing yoga for 1 1/2 hours in a 105*F heated room sounded pretty terrible. However, Jordan’s passion for Bikram became quite convincing, and I decided to commit to 1 month of classes.

What I like about Bikram is that it’s quite militant. I love walking into the studio knowing exactly what to expect—a sauna like room wherein I’ll execute the same series of 26 poses for a standardized amount of time, twice on each side. The instructor clearly explains how to correctly perform each pose, giving encouragement only when deserved. They’re direct, to the point and give just the right amount of instruction (in my humble opinion, Bikram yoga is the perfect companion for any zen seeking control freak).

I’ve practiced yoga for about 10 years (obviously I enjoy it). Sometimes though, I’ll take classes that feel a little too “granola:” I begin to wonder if the instructor is truly that spiritually and mentally free or if they’re just faking it. Sometimes, I’ll find myself suddenly jealous. As I’m in downward facing dog — saluting the sun — I think, “Well I’m doing my yoga! Why am I not feeling relaxed?!” I can get frustrated when I’m surrounded by yogis who breathe and can actually let go wherein I can’t seem to follow suit. This triggers anxiety and the whole point of coming to yoga seems to be unattainable.

The thing about Bikram is, there’s no need for this sort of panic. It’s balanced in a way that is realistic. The teachers promote awareness, demanding that you don’t close your eyes to find that inner sense of balance, but to search for it with your eyes wide open. The poses demand an intense kind of focus, one that requires will power and discipline. It’s within this focused state, while kneeling on one leg, trying to balance on the ball of one foot, that I finally find the sense of freedom that those granola yogis promised.

The difference is, I’m able to find a sense of peace in a place of struggle. A moment where I could potentially fail—and often times I literally do by falling over.

When leaving class, dripping sweat, I’m balanced, in a way that makes me feel like I can handle the ups and downs, thee imperfection of daily living. When something goes wrong, it no longer feels like a catastrophe. It’s just another challenge, another balancing act. Yes, I’ve fallen, but there’s always a second chance.

As one of my Bikram teachers says before taking on a tricky pose for a second time, “You’re lucky… you get to do it again.” This is a mantra I will carry with me for a long time.

—Jaime

PS For more information on Bikram, check out these helpful sources. I highly recommend doing your research as there are some risk:

The health benefits clearly explained

Research conducted by Vanderbilt University

The pros and cons as explained by a student at Yale

Lessons From Somewhere: April 2013

Tags

Contentment, Finding..., growing up, Real Life, Reflections, Twenties

I know I’m not alone in this, but I find living in a state of uncertainty incredibly difficult. A natural extremist, I need a “yes” or “no;” a black and white answer; you’re on my side or you’re not. In a world filled with so many unknowns, it’s hard to always get a straight answer, and thinking like an extremist seems more and more like an idealistic notion.

I’ve realized that instead of demanding clarity, I’m going to have to suck it up and accept that uncertainty is a major part of living life.

To be frank, I haven’t learned much more than this. I wish I could offer you some brilliant strategy that’s helping me deal with uncertainty in a more balanced way, but unfortunately for you and me, I have no such tactic in mind.

I will say though that I received some excellent advice from an admirable person this past month. It was something along the lines of this: there is no room for wit in uncertainty. For me, this serves as a reminder—I’m incapable of planning each and every little aspect of my life, and eventually, I’m going to have to learn to let some things go and enjoy living in the unknown.

For now, however, understanding that I’ll eventually have to learn to accept uncertainty is enough. Like Albus Dumbledore said in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, “understanding is the first step to acceptance.”

—Jaime

Book Review: Fifty Shades Freed by E.L. James

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Books, Fifty Shades, Love, Reading, Recommendations, Satisfaction, shades of grey, Twenties

After finishing the second installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey series, I’d decided not to read the third book. I struggled to finish the second one, finding it repetitive and not well developed. However, a few weeks ago, I spoke to a bookish friend about the third novel. She found it “satisfying,” saying that the author, E.L. James, “wrapped it up nicely.” As someone who relishes the simple satisfaction of finishing what she starts, I decided to give Fifty another go.

And I’m glad I did. I continued to find the book bitter-sweet (as I did with it’s previous installments). The main characters — Ana and Christian — started to make more sense. James wrote them in a clearer way and I began to better understood their choices, personalities and compromises.

Also, James did “wrap it up nicely.” The ending was a great conclusion to a very complicated and somewhat traumatizing saga of 2 people in love. James made some excellent choices, making a declaration of sorts about Ana and Christian that entirely explained each in their own way.

I’d recommend reading the series just to get to the final novel. It’s the kind of tale that provides a similar sense of satisfaction to that which is gained from a job well done.

—Jaime

My Week in Instagram

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Arts, Awesome, Happiness, Instagram, New York, Nostalgia, Photos, Pictures, Real Life, Small things, Twenties

At the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts to see Robert Farris Thompson speak

Easter egg hunt!

Good one Yogi tea

Excel sheets + hot chocolate= perfect work meeting

Early evening run with a lovely view

RING POPS!

A little touch of the South

Ok, so Brooklyn’s really growing on me

Lessons From Somewhere: March 2013

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Awesome, Contentment, Deepak Chopra, Happiness, meditation, Oprah, philosophy, Real Life, Recommendations, yoga

Meditation is a practice I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve always found it so darn difficult and have never been able to stick with it for more than a few days at a time. Interestingly, I’ve been thinking about it over the past couple of months. It’s been one of those “I should really look into this,” sort of things that I didn’t pay much attention to.

In early March, I received an email from Oprah (yes, I receive daily emails from her… whatever). She wrote about a 21 day meditation challenge that she and a guy named Deepak Chopra were co-leading. Since I didn’t give anything up for Lent, and since meditating was something I’d been thinking about, I decided that this was my chance to commit to learning more (plus I think Oprah can do no wrong… but I digress).

Deepak & Oprah

The first few days were hard. Lying there, passive for 15-16 minutes everyday was a struggle. In those moments, I just kept trying. Like Brene Brown says, with practice comes ease, so I stuck with it and continued meditating. I also decided to stop getting frustrated. Instead, when I found myself distracted or when I began focusing on other things that I could be doing instead of trying to be still, I recognized that these thoughts were exactly why I needed to meditate, so that I could slow my thinking and actually truly relax.

This challenge taught me that I’m rarely completely silent. Passivity is necessary. It’s in these moments that we’re able to completely commune with whatever spiritual power we may believe in. I began understanding what was holding me back or preventing me from attaining that true sense of freedom that we all so often desire. Confidence, mindfulness, not worrying, breath; each needed to have a higher priority in my life. I also “heard” (I say “heard” because I know it wasn’t me), “it’s not a habit, it’s a choice.” This simple little phrase has helped me to evaluate certain behaviors I partake in, habits that may not be the best choices for my health. Am I doing this because I want to or because it’s a routine?

After 18 days of meditating, I had a stressful work situation to deal with. As I stood in the lobby trying to trouble shoot, that normal sense of anxiety I typically feel when under pressure set in—basically I was entering catastrophe mode. As I began running the 3 1/2 blocks I needed to take to the post office in order to have a document postmarked by 5:00p, I intentionally took a second to stop. I slowed down a bit, took a deep breath and asked for divine intervention.

When the issue was resolved (everything turned out just fine by the way), I realized that these 21 days — though sometimes brutal — were changing my life. For the first time, I was able to look stress in the face and really choose if I was going to let it take control of me or handle it in a wiser way.

Turns out, those 16 minutes of silence, weren’t a waste of time after all. In fact, they’re making me into a better version of me.

—Jaime

Book Review: The Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring)

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Awesome, Books, Celeberties, Classics, fellowship of the rings, Geek, literature, Lord of the Rings

Since the start of 2013, I’ve felt this renewed sense of hope. This outlook’s partly inspired by the film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings. I watched the trilogy 3 times in a row while on winter vacation (click here if you’re intrigued) and entered the new year feeling supported and ready for anything. Of course this made me want to read the novels, to experience them in their original form and relish this sense of rejuvenation.

Written by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings is a trilogy published as three separate installments. The first book, The Fellowship of the Rings, reveals the dark secret behind the ring and the evil that its existence brings to the setting, Middle-earth. We’re introduced to the central characters throughout the series who form the Fellowship, an unlikely group of males: 4 hobbits, 2 men of noble birth, 1 wizard, 1 elf and 1 dwarf. Together, they begin their arduous adventure—to destroy the ring and restore peace.

Prior to beginning my journey through Middle-earth, I didn’t understand why people found Tolkien’s work boring. After finishing The Fellowship of the Ring I can at least perceive why this stereotype exists. Tolkien writes in a very matter of fact way. Even though you can imagine what the characters feel or the tone in which they’re speaking, Tolkein doesn’t lay it out for you. He writes in a very unbiased way, like he’s strictly providing an account of what happened. So it’s understandable why people find the books dry because it’s hard to relate and difficult to delve into each character. That being said, I completely disagree with this notion. I didn’t find the novel the least bit boring. Quite the opposite; I felt empowered as a reader, as though Tolkien gave me a way to make the book my own. For me, this autonomy came by figuring out the mystery behind each of his main players.

If you haven’t read any of the books and have seen the movies, you really should read them. It’s impressive how well adapted to screen this one was, so I’m eager to see what I think of the other 2 novels.

—Jaime

My Week in Instagram…

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Awesome, beauty, Books, Contentment, gift, Happiness, Instagram, julep, literature, Love, Nail polish, New York, Nostalgia, Photos, Pictures, Reading, Recommendations, wise words

A Valentine so beautiful, it needed a frame

Finally, after 1 1/2 years, I rode a graffiti-ed train!

Wise words in Brooklyn

A very cool package from mom & dad

My very first Throw Back Thursday. Circa 2007 at an ’80s themed party. The dress was $4 at Goodwill, but it’s priceless.

I found the Tardis! Unfortunately the Doctor was out…

Long live Harry Potter!

A very sweet gift from one of my nearest & dearest. A copy of Alice from 1941.

New polish. Emilie by Julep.

Lessons From Somewhere: February 2013

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beauty, Contentment, Finding..., growing up, Happiness, Love, New York, Oprah, Perfectionism, Real Life, Reflections, Relationships, Twenties

I’ve mentioned this before and it’s still difficult for me to understand how I continue to fall into this cycle. I try to be perfect. There’s a lot of perfectionist out there whom I sure can agree that perfectionism feels cyclical. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accepted that I’ll never be perfect, and even after believing this, I continue working towards it. When I fall short, I reprimand myself and say, “Jaime, you should have done this perfectly.” It’s exhausting.

This month, my desire to reach an ideal standard seemed to be staring me in the face. I became frustrated that my black jeans were faded because having worn jeans didn’t look perfect. I wasn’t managing my time as well as I could’ve or catching up with as many friends as I wanted to. I wasn’t exercising as much as I should be or always eating right. What bothered me the most was that I couldn’t balance my life seamlessly.

After hitting a point of frustration, I began to do some searching and discovered this article written by Amy Shearn:

“The Perfect Woman

We know, we know, you’re almost perfect. You can imagine the perfect you. She’s a lot like real you, except just a touch perfecter. She effortlessly balances her stellar career and social life, puts her partner and family first and every night finds time to make an interesting and healthful dinner, spotlessly clean her home, talk to her mother, knit a baby hat for a friend, run three miles, read a novel and, of course, get enough sleep so that she can be that same stellar self in the morning. She would be the perfect partner. And so many of us fall into her wily trap, trying to become her and in the process driving ourselves—and everyone else—crazy. Here’s the thing about Perfect Woman: She’s boring. She makes everyone feel bad for not being as perfect as she is. And besides, too much self-sacrifice doesn’t actually make a woman perfect; in practice, it makes her frantic. Does your partner want to spend eternity with a frantic woman? More importantly, do you? Didn’t think so.”

It got me thinking. Why am I so interested in being perfect? I’m sure a lot of it has to do with gaining a sense of security. If I act perfect, look perfect and multi-task like Wonder Woman, people will be more likely to accept me. But as Amy Shearn points out, this woman is dull, not because of her actions or looks, but she and the people in her life will never get to see the real her—the beautifully flawed her.

A couple days ago I was sitting on the train, thinking about my faded black jeans and how I had still failed to send those emails and make those phone calls. I looked around and observed the cluster of people near me. Strangely, most of them looked close to my age and some of them were wearing black jeans—faded black jeans.

And do you know what? They looked pretty amazing.

—Jaime

To read the full article by Amy Shearn, click here.

My Week in Instagram

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Awesome, Books, clothing, Happiness, Instagram, Love, Photos, Pictures, Reading, style, valentine s day

My sweet new ear warmer, knitted by a friend

Starbucks considers my a favorite!

Red pants and nail because it’s Valentine’s Day!

I’m reading The Lord of the Rings. Excited to get to Moria.

Valentine’s Day: How to Deal When You’re Single

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Alone, Being single, Contentment, conundrums, dating, Happiness, Love, Oprah, Peace, Real Life, Recommendations, Relationships, Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day can be rough if you’re single. When you’re out of college, you no longer have that safety net of friends to go out and get silly with while also bashing all of your respective ex’s. On the big day, your roommate may be on a romantic date with her true love, and what are you doing? Sitting at home drowning your sorrows, possibly belting out your favorite ballads and — if you’re a girl — likely eating a box of chocolates. In your late twenties, it can be even more daunting. You start to feel outnumbered by the massive amount of married or long-term couples around you, and Valentine’s Day becomes just another reminder that your mother is, in fact, right: you are completely alone—the horror!

It sounds crazy, but I genuinely love, adore and enjoy this holiday (I have my reasons click here to read them). The truth is, Valentine’s Day can be wonderful even if you’re single. After spending 24 of them alone, I’ve developed some strategies for coping with the stress and anxiety that this very special day can bring… here’s how to deal:

1). Invest in yourself: I know this sounds cheesy, but this holiday is a prefect excuse to do something just for you. Start by asking this question: what could I do that would make me feel more grounded? For me, that’s buckling down with a couple copies of Oprah’s magazine and reading articles by her columnist Martha Beck. Sometimes it’s listening to a sermon by a spiritual leader or simply journaling. It’s about doing something enlightening. Not only will you learn a little about yourself, you’ve also done something huge: taking time out of your busy day for no one else but you. I can almost guarantee your life will feel more rich.

2). Celebrate the people you love: This year I did something I hadn’t done in a long time—I sent Valentines. To be honest, it was a lot of work. By the time I designed, printed, wrote, addressed and stamped each one, I felt like I developed carpal tunnel syndrome. However, while writing them, I realized how lucky I was to have so many incredible people in my life. Even if you’re not into the whole sending valentines thing, consider telling the people you love the most that you are grateful for them… it’s a powerful thing.

3). Don’t waste the day: Believe me, I get it. Being single can be really hard and it’s easy to feel bitter and sad about it (especially on this particular day). The thing is, and this is going to sound harsh, but let’s keep it real: being mopey about being single because of a national holiday is a waste. If you really think about it, you’re allowing a cultural tradition to have control over you and your feelings. That being said, don’t ignore the hurt. Let yourself feel whatever it is your feeling, even for just a moment. But don’t let that feeling consume you—acknowledge it and move on. Being grumpy, sad, etc takes a lot of energy, so don’t waste the day! Instead, re-channel. For me, that means listening to positive music or calling my best friend and telling her what I’m feeling. I find that once that negativity is out in the open, I’m much more capable of letting it go.

4). Connect: The Valentine’s Days I’ve spent with other people are always better. As speaker and social worker Brené Brown says — we as human beings — long for connection. So connect! Spend time with a friend, call someone or even Skype them.

5). Find fun: This one’s pretty common sense, but have fun! The definition of “something fun” is different for everyone (I think lounging in bed, ordering in and catching up on my favorite television shows is fun). But, I also love going to tea with my best friend (which is exactly what we’re doing tomorrow after work).

I’ll end with this: our lives our fleeting. Embrace this day and don’t let it force you into hiding. Find something that you can be grateful for and cling to it, as this is where your heart really lies.

—Jaime